J____!

I keep thinking of you.
I’m looking at a Hollywood Bowl schedule and think of seeing the Silk Road Ensemble with you and R_____. Such a lovely time. I will hear a symphony piece and think of you sending me notices of online performances. Or I’ll read something about the Dodgers and want to chide you about their misfortune or note a success.

I do my morning pages and think of you turning me on to Julia Cameron and the Artist’s Way. Or I come across a management article and think of the stories you told me of your work at XXX and other places, but mostly at XXX. You had a deft way of guiding people and getting the best from them. And the fun and satisfaction we had with those management articles we wrote.

I will see something about horse racing and want to send you a related email. What about that Baffert guy? I’ll come across something about Santa Barbara and wine. And you and R____ come to mind. Those many wine festivals we attended. Such enjoyment. And I miss hearing about your children, their challenges and successes.

Who will send me those sometimes cute, spoofy or salient emails that come to you and you forward on? And who will now send me an email suggesting a book or article to read? You will no longer be “liking” my work on Medium. Thank you for those likes! And now when I post something you still come to mind.

When I meditate, never enough, you come to mind as you relished your meditation practice. I must do more of that — including walking mediation.

I will read a poem and remember you telling me that R____ and you read poetry to each other. And John, what about R______? When I think of you, I then think of her, in the same thought. So much of the time my thinking was not of just you singularly, but of “J____ and R____”. And yes, now I won’t hear her commenting to you in the background as we talk on the phone — always brought a smile to me. You are/were a lovely couple. I saw that as a couple you were much greater than individually.

When I’m grateful for someone or something you come to mind. You told me that this perspective was important to you. It is now important to me as I recognize your importance to me.

J____, I can’t say goodbye. How can I when you are still with me in so many ways.
Love you,